To what end?

Is it the journey or is it the end that really matters?

This question may not ever be fully answered till I’m on my deathbed. A friend brought this topic up to me when I first set out to Colombia, and I am thinking about this topic again as my time here winds down. What have I learned? What have I lost? Where am I going? Do I feel accomplished? Would I take it back?

This was not a life-changing journey. Nor was it really supposed to be. Perhaps looking back I may feel differently, and I welcome that. Traveling is not new to me, so I didn’t get that same exhilaration I had as I first stepped into Medellín. I took this time as a moment to step back. It highlighted characteristics I knew I had, gave me space to sit with my feelings, contemplate a new life direction, and most importantly, begin a habit of writing.

While I don’t write all the time, I feel 100X more confident writing and sharing. Its purpose in deciphering my feelings is even more apparent, and I am working to become a better writer both professionally and personally. I am happy to have a platform even if no one reads which before I would have seen as shameful. I am writing for me and I hope in the process it helps someone else. Maybe in that sense it is life-changing. Maybe it will be something I realize much later on.

As for myself, I know I need structure in my life. And I value stability and community so much more, and truly miss the life I had in Boston. I am even more committed to the field of ag and food, still unsure as a strong direction, but eager to continue contributing.

While I’m happy for the break and change of scenery, I realize you don’t have to get away to get a new perspective. I respect people who stayed in their known communities and had the mental determination to take a new life path without completing uprooting themselves.

Despite saying this, I have ended up half-way across the world. While I may not have the same community and stability I had in Boston, I now am more conscious of what I valued in it and seek that in the new places that I go.

Others will always have a different answer to the original question asked, but for me, a journey is filled with a million ends. Therefore, it is both, but primarily the journey. My journey included an end of my time in Colombia. An end (somewhat) to the relationships that I nurtured there. But my own personal journey continues emboldened and enriched by that time. A journey should be of reaching new milestones and of embracing fluidity and uncertainty along the way.

Each day is new. Fill it with purpose, love, and respect.

And may you start the New Year with hope and positive energy!