Insignificant

Been dealing a lot with feeling insignificant lately. It seems like everyone has gone on with their lives and I can’t. And I have had a lot of support, but I realize that that feeling of insignificance is coming from deep within from all the times I have denied myself the things that I have wanted and not gone after what I deserve and pushed myself to the growth that I am capable of. I still see how my fear and perfectionism are stifling me and I am trying to fight through it, but fear and complacency feel very comfortable. And I didn’t used to be this way. I used to love the hard things. But I just got knocked down one too many times without a support system and it has made it hard to get back up confidently. But there is so much more I can do in this world that I really want to. I think overall I let humility go to self-doubt and self-deprecation when it should have been a tool for collaboration and learning. My fear of pride has me downplaying myself and stepping on my own toes.